A Glimpse of Laundry Day

Me: [holding up a random, unknown t-shirt from the laundry] Who does this belong to?
Husband: The Red Hot Chili Peppers? Well, it didn’t come home with [the little man].
Me: [calls daughter to come identify shirt] Is this one of your friend’s?
Daughter: I don’t know.
Me: . . .
Daughter: What? [tries to reason how shirt might have come into her possession in lengthy explanation that basically = “gym clothes get mixed up, yo”]
Me: [cuts her off] Yeah, I get it. I just want to to put it in your backpack and find its owner.
Daughter: [exits]
Husband: You know what she can do with it?
Me: . . .
Husband: Give it away, Give it away, Give it away now.
Me: [raucous laughter]


Me: I need to pick up birthday gifts for a couple of your cousins. What do you think Hannah would like?
Daughter: I don’t know.
Me: Well, you have to come up with something.
Daughter: Okay. [silence]
Me: What size does she wear?
Daughter: I don’t know.
Me: Does she like jewelry?
Daughter: I don’t know.
Me: Have you ever seen her with a piece of jewelry on?
Daughter: . . . Maybe. I don’t know.
Me: [closes the door and walks away]


Husband: I haven’t planned anything special for our anniversary this year. Don’t want you to expect anything.
Me: How many years will we have been married.
Husband: 13?
Me: Time to call it quits?
Husband: Nah, let’s just let this thing roll.
Me: Awesome.


Daughter: Our first choice is Australia. Then Bulgaria and India.
Me: Bulgaria?
Daughter: Yeah, Bulgaria.
Me: That’s an odd choice.
Daughter: Want to know why we picked it?
Me: [hesitantly] Sure.
Daughter: Nina Dobrev is from there. [Nina Dobrev is from The Vampire Diaries.]
Me: Ugh, good lord.
Daughter: Its a good choice! It gives me an excuse to learn about Bulgaria.
[I made her read the wiki article about Bulgaria. ::insert evil parent laugh here::]


Random Father: Where are your shoes?!
Teenage Girl: I’m so busy. You don’t understand, I have a lot to do.
Random Father: Well, you can do a lot with your shoes on.


Me: [laughing at a video of an adorable dog] Come look at this dog.
Daughter: Ha! So cute.
My Mother: Don’t laugh at that dog! He’s had a stroke or something!
Me: Hey, he is out running errands. My dog never gets to run errands. He has a good life.
My Mother: That is cruel.
Me: Grumpy Cat made a million dollars.
Daughter: Yeah.
My Mother: I don’t know who that is.
Me: Grumpy Cat’s real name is Tarter Sauce. She looks grumpy because of a deformity, but made buttloads of money, even a movie.
My Mother: It is still cruel.

Just Some Things I Found

I’m still working on upcoming posts about how much I love weaving all of a sudden and the hazards of parenting a tween, so for now, I’ll leave you with some neat things I found on the internet recently. [Inspired by’s awesome “13 Things I Found on the Internet Today” posts.]

The infinitely zooming image. Seriously, spend ten minutes watching this and see how many weird things you can pick out. The husband and I were a little bit enthralled.


2. This image of Benedict Cumberbatch and Neil Patrick Harris in 90s throwback glory.
And MTV’s argument that Tom Hiddleston is the better Beevis.


3. This photo of Gillian Anderson as Morticia Addams thanks to Boing Boing.


4. This amazing garden in Canada, along with nine other cruel reminders it is still winter from


5. This BuzzFeed video about things introverts secretly enjoy.

Listen Closely

radio-dogA Conversation with Mr. Tacky

We have been discussing options for dealing with the little man starting school in the fall. As I’ve written before, he will be losing his daycare benefits and I’m struggling to find someplace with after school care that will accept him. At this point, we are still discussing all possible options – ideal or not.

Him: Well, you’ve always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.

Me: [silence, glare] When have I ever wanted that?!

Him: Was that my other wife?

Me: I tried that once and it was awful. I did want to be a stay-at-home-person though.

Him: Oh, so. . .

Me: By myself. No kids.

Related, if anyone out that has any suggestions of how two working parents can deal with a profoundly disabled child in school, let me know. I’m especially looking for services I might not know about and creative solutions. Also, I’m accepting applications for a nanny. I can pay you in Little Caesar’s Hot n’ Readys, topping of you choice.


Overheard at Jury Duty

To my left –

Man: This is my first time doing this.

Woman: Mine too, but they have plenty of white people here; they won’t pick us.

Man and Woman: [Hearty Laugh]

*He ended up on the jury

To my right –

Woman: They have me staying in the Doubletree. Told ‘em, “you can’t put a country girl in a fancy hotel like that.” That place is fancy. They are serious over there.

Snippets from down the hall –

Woman: This is your first time? This is my fourth.

Woman: Yeah, that guy stuck it right in my face. Scary.

[She was talking about testifying and being robbed at gunpoint.]

My Favorite Holiday Music

Well, the ones I haven’t shared yet anyway.

Otis Redding – White Christmas

Bing Crosby – Mele Kalikimaka (Hawaiian Christmas Song)

Mannheim Steamroller – Carol of the Bells

Yesterday’s Holiday

Judy Garland – Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (1944)

Nat King Cole – The Christmas Song (1961)

Lewis James – When the Christmas Chimes Are Ringing (1922)

Today’s Holiday

Pentatonix (feat. Tori Kelly) – Winter Wonderland / Don’t Worry Be Happy (2014)

Leona Lewis – One More Sleep (2013)

Straight No Chaser – Santa Claus Is Back In Town (2009)

Christmas Parody

Wrecking Ball Parody (Deck the Halls by Dave and Brian)

[Yes, I shared this one last year too. I just really like it.]

Betty White Christmas (White Christmas parody by The Kinsey Sicks)

[FYI: The Kinsey Sicks are super fun and I advise you to check them out on YouTube. A lot of their songs aren’t what you would call family friendly though, don’t say I didn’t warn you.]

Friday Filler

A cold zapped my desire to write this week, so enjoy these words instead:

“The Sweet Story Of How Ben & Jerry’s Built Its Ice Cream Empire” at Huffington Post
It all started with a guy named Ben and a guy named Jerry. The year was 1978, and young besties Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield decided they wanted to start a company. They briefly considered bagels, but the equipment was too expensive, so they opted for opening an ice cream shop in a converted gas station in Vermont. Their company name was simple: Ben & Jerry’s Homemade Ice Cream.

“Searching for Krampus” at BoingBoing
AL Cacophony reports on the christmas devils’ growing popularity in America, and the old-worlders drafted in to help keep it real.

“The 60 Silliest Pie Charts on the Internet” at TwentyTwoWords
Some of life’s most important issues broken down into simple pictorial graphs. . . My favorite is Trivial Pursuit.

Okay, I lied.
I did have a little time to write once I was feeling better, but instead I watched one of my favorite movies, Only Lovers Left Alive.