And Then There Was Fourteen

Today is our 14th wedding anniversary. That is a lot of years. Oh sure, plenty of people have more years on us. But still . . . fourteen is a lot. Especially when you take into account the fact that we were married at the age of nineteen and twenty-one.

Hallmark tells me that the traditional gift for fourteen years used to be ivory. That is obviously out now, so the “experts” suggest gold jewelry or, if you are still feeling traditional, something elephant themed. One website cleverly suggested piano lessons (you know . . . so you can learn to tickle those ivories).

Like many couples, we aren’t buying each other anything for our anniversary this year (although we do plan to live-it-up tacky-style in Vegas for the big fifteen). If we weren’t moving to California*, we’d rope someone into watching the little man so we could go out for a romantic dinner. Every penny counts right now though, so instead we will take the family out for a standard dinner at your generic family-style place. It’s about being together, right?

So, in honor of fourteen years here are Fourteen Things I Like About My Husband:

  1. He makes up and sings weird songs with me, creating an unusual soundtrack for our home life.

  2. He never misses an opportunity to goof off and embarrass our daughter.

  3. He cooks 99.95% of our meals and only complains about it occasionally. Bonus – he makes a mean meatball and is always open to splurging on some pizza.

  4. He is on top of this dad thing. Like, really. All over it.

  5. He never puts ranch dressing anywhere near my food.

  6. He supports my extreme dislike of those family stickers people put on the back of their mini-vans and oversized suvs. No knocking mini-vans and suvs, I just never really see those on smaller vehicles.

  7. He is about as far from pretentious you can get.

  8. As a kid, he dressed up as the “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” lady from the commercial for Halloween.

  9. He likes to watch Good Mythical Morning with me and doesn’t complain when I turn on Bob’s Burgers for the sixteenth-millionth time. Sometimes he still laughs when I quote the show or even – amazingly – quotes it himself. That is a sign of some serious spectral traces right there.

  10. The one and only time I had a really serious pregnancy craving, he went out early in the morning to buy me a tub of powdered mini-donuts. Then watched me eat one after another in silence.

  11. He lovingly refers to our lifestyle as “one step up from the bottom.”

  12. He always remembers our wedding anniversary and only makes fun of me a little when I have to ask him to remind me. Plus, he never holds it against me that I just can’t seem to remember the date. I think he secretly likes being superior in this part of our relationship.

  13. He is completely supportive of uprooting our family and moving 2000 miles away so I can follow my dreams.

  14. 85% of the time he smells damn good.

Here’s to love, ya’ll!

*YES! More about that Monday. . .


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