Five Questions

2015 wasn’t my best year. But it’s cool; they can’t all be the best. And it wasn’t the worst, so I have that going for me. Staying in my “let’s review 2015” theme, I borrowed a set of questions from

1. What am I bored of?
You know, I thought about this one for a very long time and came up with a whole bunch of answers – facebook, work, painting my nails, drinking lattes, wearing flats, etc. But they all just seemed a bit weak. If I’m bored of it, why don’t I just quit? With the exception of work – a necessary evil – I could leave any of those behind at any time. In reality, I get something I need from each and every one of those things that makes sticking with it and being bored outweigh moving on to something new. Oh ruts, how you sneak up on us! Baby steps – I’m going to start by wearing a pair of shoes that aren’t flats at least once a week. [Wow. . . I really am boring.]

2. What do I want more of?
If I’m being 100% honest . . . money. It would do wonders for question number four. But, I’m trying to go a bit deeper here. Financially, we have enough; we aren’t hurting. So what else do I want more of? Well, I was going to write “Time.” but instead I wrote “Tim.” That is my husband and I think my subconscious was peeking through a bit there. We weren’t really present in each other’s lives much this year. I mean, we were in the same room a lot, but 2015 kind of brought us down a bit. Adjusting to our new schedule has me getting home later and going to bed earlier. Weekdays are all about getting dinner fixed, cleaning up, doing laundry, etc. My parents took the kids for a couple of nights over the holiday break and it was the first time in months (months!) we had a night out. I don’t like being those parents – I am a firm believer in the importance of getting rid of the kids, spending time on yourself, and spending time with each other. But as the little man gets older, it only gets more difficult to make that time. We need to do better with that and find little ways to be “together” more.

3. What can I let go of?
Feeling inadequate. Maybe 2016 is the year I can finally shake (or at least subdue) this killer case of impostor syndrome.

I would also like to let go of changing diapers. Please and thanks.

4. What would give me peace of mind?
“Nothing is more conductive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.” – Georg Christoph Lichtenberg. Ability to become a mindless robot notwithstanding, just a nice silent room with half an hour to myself every week or so would do wonders. Even better if it is dark. Oh, maybe I should invest in one of those isolation tanks where you float in the salt water. Aside from that, I’m stumped. How exactly does one get peace of mind? I think it is a made-up concept. Or maybe that is just my anxiety talking.

5. What am I devoted to?
My family and my career. I’m being a little cliché again, I know, but it is true. When the hubs and I were discussing what we would do once we win the Powerball (that we’ve never purchased a ticket to, mind you), both of us said we would continue working albeit it on a part-time project basis. I really do love working in the archives. And my family . . . like all the rest of you reading this, I’d do anything to help them out, to do what’s best, and to make life easier for them.

Outside of those two obvious things, I’m devoted to pizza. Pepperoni to be specific.


One comment

  1. I almost never comment, but I need to. First…#3…get in line. You’re totally NOT that and couldn’t be if you tried. But the strange thing is that I think most folks who care about “stuff” feel that way. And you used the perfect word…”imposter.” That’s certainly the way I’ve always felt. Sad, but I don’t think we can change that about ourselves. Now to the rest of the list: Frannie is bored out of her skull with her illness. Full stop! And I want much, much more energy and strength. Yuk. Not much left for me to let go of dadgumit! The peace of mind thing is a lost cause; I’ll settle for dribs and drabs of peace and joy. (And fortunately I still have those.) Last: I’m devoted to making darn sure my two babies know that I have loved them dearly since before I knew who they were. Done.

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