My Anti-Bucket List

BucketPoking around on the internet this week, I stumbled across this anti-bucket list post from Rock and Drool. You know, all of those things that other people want to do before they die and you wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole. I was inspired to create my own list. Share your anti-bucket items in the comments.

1. Run a Marathon/Half-Marathon/Around the Block
Nope, not going to happen. I have no desire to run/jog/walk with a large group of people. I have no desire to be left alone with my thoughts for that long. I have no desire to post a photo of me crossing the finish line. Marathons, in general, are just not my cup of tea. I’m not even really interested in cheering you on from the sidelines, but I’ll drop you off if you need a ride then treat myself to French toast somewhere.

2. Read/Watch 50 Shades of Grey
I have nothing against the BDSM community – you do you, yo! I’m all about experimentation in the bedroom. – but everything I’ve heard about this relationship just seems abusive. Plus, if I want to watch some porn I’ll just watch some porn. I don’t need it hidden in some watered down fantasy.

3. Go Skydiving
I get kind of nauseated going up steep hills, so this seems like a physical impossibility for me. I don’t think I’m missing out on much though.

4. Go to Burning Man
I see photos of Burning Man and people are always there, but I don’t know why anyone would want to go to such a dirty, sweaty, lack-of-civilization kind of thing. I am not that person. No, not at all.

5. Learn to Play an Instrument
I tried to learn how to play the piano as a kid (hated) and later learned to play the clarinet (it was fine). I’m not counting those now, as I probably couldn’t make much of any noise you would consider music on either instrument. I like listening to music; I don’t like playing music. I have a ukulele at home (hipster cred!), but disliked learning how to play it so much I abandoned it after only learning a couple of chords. I enjoy just plucking on the string when I’m alone. That is enough for me.

6. Complete a Year-Long Daily Photo Project
How many photos of cups of coffee can you take? Here is the view from my office chair. Here is the view from my office chair turned to the right. Here is the view of my office chair from the door. Here is my driveway. I don’t do enough to take daily photos. I’d give it two weeks before I get tired and abandon everything.

7. Swim with Dolphins
This one is a no because I fear it would be less “Look! Stephanie is swimming with those dolphins!” and more “Look! Those dolphins are attacking Stephanie! Somebody help!” I think dolphins are secretly evil. At the very least, they seem to take pleasure in occasionally humiliating their human guests.

8. Meet a Singer/Band
You know you are just going to be disappointed. That person isn’t the person you think you know from their music and they don’t want to be accosted on the street. If you happen to have backstage passes, they will just be sweaty and tied. Gross. I’ll stick with the music, thanks. I might make an exception for older musicians; they always seem to be fairly genuine when speaking/posing with fans. Not sure though…

9. Learn Spanish
This isn’t one of those “We speak English in America!” things. From what I’ve seen, if you speak Spanish you constantly get called over to help out when a Spanish-speaker and English-speaker are having difficulty communicating. I don’t want to be that go-to person.

10. Be Part of a Flash Mob
So what do you really have here? Lots of planning for five minutes of fun and a YouTube video. I’d rather order a pizza.

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2 comments

  1. I agree with a few of these… particularly the Flash Mob thing. I joined up with the Brisbane City Flash Mob Crew and not once was I ever contacted to go to rehearsals or take part…when I asked why, they gave the thinnest-as-hell excuse that I didn’t fit in…. um what???? So, I have ignored them since, and they’ve withered away to nothing.

    I know the tiniest amount of Spanish, French and a good amount of Auslan… it’s good to know enough of another language just in case you need to translate for some poor person who can’t speak your language and they are tourists… and it’s fun. 😀

    I learned the flute – no really, I did! I’m classically trained in the instrument and have met Sir James Galway twice! (once when I was 13 and the second time when I was 38 in 2010 – he was so lovely). I also know a few people who play in bands; and they’re great people… one of my friends knows a few of the greats – and her Dad played bass for Elvis Presley.

    As for the year-long daily photo project? Well, 365Project is just fun… once you get into the habit of photography of other things besides coffee and your office chair, well… you’ll find the tiniest things are the best things to photograph. I take photos of small flowers in my garden, my artwork and events in my life… great stuff to kick the year along quickly. 😀

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