Three Things I Just Can Not Handle

Let’s be a little silly today. I am going to talk about some of those things that just get under my skin, the things that really creep me out or make me ridiculously angry. There is no real reasoning behind this list and my response to each thing is pretty irrational. I think everyone has at a least one thing like this though. Share yours in the comments!

-Ranch dressing
Or as I like to call it, the unholy stuff produced by demons. Ew. I don’t like the taste; I don’t like the smell; I don’t like to see it. I will begrudgingly add it to the grocery cart when I’m shopping (unfortunately, my family doesn’t see the evil in this food . . . yet), but I avoid even looking at the dishes on salad night.

Last week at lunch with some coworkers, several people were dipping their forks into the house-made ranch dressing to determine what spices made its interesting taste. It was gross. Yes, that it right coworkers who read this blog, you disgust me.
buttermilk-ranch-dressing

-Spoiled food
Smelly food + a sensitive nose + a sensitive stomach = bad news. I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I have fled to the other side of the house when we discovered – and consequently needed to open – something long forgotten in the back of the refrigerator. Mix ranch dressing into this equation and I’m just done. Done!
grossfridge-hazmat

-Being shushed
Oh, this one makes my blood boil; if you want to see my temper flare, just “shhh” me. My husband does it sometimes just to be funny. He is not funny. I’m not sure where this one comes from, but I’m assuming it is leftover from the years I struggled to figure out how to assert myself. Now, I can’t remember actually ever being shushed in my adult life, so this one doesn’t really come up a lot. [Is this going to spawn a whole bunch of comments that just say “Shhh!”?]
shhh-carousel

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26 comments

  1. There are few things in the world that I see as readily punch-worthy. I am NOT a violent man. I like peace, puppies and ranch dressing (there had to be SOME sort of a jab in here dammit)…

    But if you want to see me struggle to refrain from slugging someone… let them shush me. Yeah… I’m with you on that one… shush me fine…

    And let the slug-fest ensue.

  2. Bad grammar… it must be the teacher in me. It’s a big pet peeve. It’s funny though, I understand that some things are cultural and in that case it usually doesn’t bother me but in the academic setting or when it is completely unexpected it drives me nuts!
    PS. Ranch dressing is awesome 😉

    1. SEE? I am not the only ranch dressing infatuant here! I shall not be swayed!

      PS – So Stephanie, what IS your favorite sort of dressing?

  3. I absolutely love ranch dressing….and bleu cheese (which falls in between ranch dressing and stale food, spot on)

    My 3 pet peeves:
    1.) Awful grammar. Bad grammar and awful grammar both stand in the wrong grammar category and are both detestable…but awful, awful grammar is just unbearable.

    2.) People who sneeze or cough without covering their germ-ridden mouths. I mean, come on—I can just (almost) see all that imaginary evil bacteria zooming in at 100miles per hour in my direction. They all seem to be heat-seeking, too!

    3.) Raw chicken. Get that bloody drumstick off my plate. Oh, lord I think I already have salmonella!! Call the CDC!!!

  4. I absolutely hate – hate! – being shushed by anyone! It makes me feel like I’m 5 years old again… and my opinion doesn’t matter. And the last time i was shushed as an adult by somebody who wasn’t a family member (and even then I hate it when my family does it) was when I was part of writer’s group and I was ordered to ‘please be quiet the next person is presenting their work!’ and the moderator looked down her nose at me as though i was a child… that was it, I just packed my stuff up and left. Nobody talked to me like that…. nobody.

  5. Ranch (excuse my language) must include some sort of chemical or tiny nanobot that affects the brain in certain people. It must be a nefarious scheme, no doubt a test to develop tiny mind control devices that can be added to our food in order to make us more compliant.
    There is no other explanation as to why someone would allow ranch dressing to touch their tongue, and not to get to detailed and disgusting, but to be swallowed and absorbed into their stomach.
    I call for a global ban, effective immediately, until comprehensive research can be carried out to determine what those little flecks of ickiness are, that float around in there, staring at me with utter contempt for my existence.

    We should also consider forming a League Against Ranch Dressing. We need to start taking our health seriously.

  6. Stephanie!
    Okay, after first read my mind has been over-selecting The Top Three. Seasonally adjusted, they follow:
    Number one, thanks to collaborative dialog with my 11-year-old niece today (and refer to summer reference) is too, too, WAY TOO short shorts. We don’t want or need to see that which should be contained by your undies and those things you call pants!
    Two, a never-ending and I’m certain useless plea to those of you who cannot distinguish between a sentence conclusion and a dangling you-know-what. As in, “Where are we meeting at?” Grrrr.
    Three. Folks who shorten my name to a nickname. I have never gone by any other version of my given name, I am happy with it, I introduce my self by it. I am not Sue, I am Susan. Thankyouverymuch.

      1. I don’t like bad grammar either, but I don’t consider dangling prepositions to be bad grammar. I think the rule about not ending sentences or clauses with prepositions is stupid and should be ignored because it often results in clumsy sentences.

  7. 1. People calling my husband “Steve” instead of “Steven.”

    2. Handling or being in the nasal vicinity of raw, bloody meat.

    3. Being called pet names like “Sweetie” or “Hun” by total strangers ESPECIALLY when they are around my age or younger.

    4. I’m with everyone else on terrible grammer. I don’t expect perfection, but people over the age of 15 who still don’t have a handle on subject/verb agreement, verb tenses, etc. drive me crazy.

  8. Love your pet peeves. The shush should never be used on me either, the smoke just rolls out of my ears!
    The absolute worst to me, though, is someone putting their finger in my face. I am guaranteed to bite it every time. (then immediately go rinse my mouth). Unfortunately, psycho bosses really get ticked when you bite them, but IF you keep your job, they absolutely never do that again.

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