Should I stay or should I go now?*

I am about to complain because my life has too much stability and is too comfortable. I realize many people would love to have what I am just about to describe. I realize I have it good. I’m going to complain about it anyway.
White Picket Fence
The husband and I both make good money for our area. We are solidly lower-middle/middle-middle class. We own a home, two cars, carry some additional consumer debt, and have just enough in savings. We can take vacations and order take-out. Pretty typically American, I think. We both work in non-profits, so we are paid a bit under market-value and could have more earning power elsewhere. We both like our jobs though, so it is a trade-off.

My husband is going through the process of being promoted (will I jinx it if I write about it now?). This is a big deal for him. Not only does it mean more money (and yes, it does mean more money), it means a huge growth in future professional opportunities. In this particular case, the husband is being promoted into a position he could not easily be hired into at another company. His employer is willing to train him for the new job requirements. After that, the husband could pretty much work anywhere. It is an opportunity that he could not pass up.

I’m feeling a little nauseous about it.

I lived in the same home for the first seventeen years of my life. Once I left, I never really felt comfortable setting up shop in the same place for long. Whether it was moving across town or moving to another city, every two years or so I was ready to go. If we didn’t have our daughter to consider (and now the little man), who knows where we would be.

As it stands, we’ve lived in the same city/home for nearly seven years and I reached optimal wanderlust-phase around the five-year-mark. Taking this position means settling in for the long haul. When talking about it with the husband, the phrase “[daughter’s] high school graduation” actually came out of my mouth. Don’t worry, I didn’t gag.

I know this all sounds pretty silly to a lot of you, but it is a real concern for me. I will always try and make the best decisions for my family (and accepting this promotion is very clearly the best decision), but I will have to try very hard to shift my thinking about “being settled.”

How am I coping? The husband laughingly told me to buy more makeup (he knows my weaknesses), which I did. I’m also looking at listings for bigger houses and moving towards getting my phd.

Yes, I may have a problem. Should I make an appointment with my therapist?

*”Should I stay or should I go now?
If I go there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double”
These words of wisdom from The Clash don’t really apply. It makes for a good blog title though.

Author

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: