O = Oblivion

OOblivion
ob·liv·i·on [uh-bliv-ee-uhn]
noun
1. the state of being completely forgotten or unknown: a former movie star now in oblivion.
2. the state of forgetting or of being oblivious: the oblivion of sleep
3. official disregard or overlooking of offenses; pardon; amnesty.

Sometimes I feel a little bit invisible, like I’ve faded into oblivion. I’m a quiet person and fairly unassuming. If I wasn’t large, I bet I could slip in and out of a room unnoticed.

I don’t really care for this part of my personality – I often wish I was the kind of person who walks into a room and takes command without so much as a word. It wouldn’t fit with me though. I’m better as the quiet person. Quiet, but deadly. You can ignore me and you can pretend I’m not there, but I’m not going anywhere and eventually you will have to listen. And when you do, you will love me. They always do. Except when they don’t. Oh well. Jokes aside, it can be stressful to constantly try to hold my own against stronger personalities.

transparency_by_laura1995-d6femu9 Part of it is confidence; I’m a confident person, but it tends to hide deep inside when I need it most.

Another part of it is my appearance, I think. I have trouble getting people to take me seriously because of my weight.

Another factor is the fact that I like to talk about myself and – let’s face it – this isn’t exactly the best way to endear yourself to a group.

One last contributor is my fear of saying “too much.” I have a sarcastic sense of humor and I’m pretty bad a judging how it will be received. This has led to a few uncomfortable situations in the past and a bit of a hesitancy on my part to open all the way up now.

I’m going to turn this around though. Instead of welcoming oblivion and feeling invisible, I’m going to try to feel invincible. It sounds corny, I know, but sometimes just a simple change of your thinking can make a lot of difference in the day to day. They can’t ignore me if I won’t let them.

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One comment

  1. I’m a quiet person, too. I’ve always envied the people who stride into the world like they think everyone has just been waiting for them to arrive. I’ve heard if you act that way people will believe it, but I’m just not that good of an actress. 🙂

    Hope you’re having fun with the A to Z challenge,
    Jocelyn

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