Three Sheets to the Wind

I think one of the best ways to get to now someone is through a relaxed conversation over a few drinks. The more I drink, the more I talk. So here are a few things you might learn about me over a bottle or wine . . . or two.

-I feel guilty anytime I call in sick to work. I almost always need my husband to tell me it is okay before I make the call.

-Show me a guy with dirty hair, eyeliner, and skin tight pants (bonus if they are plaid) who gives off a vibe that he might be an addict, and I will show you a guy I would go home with if I wasn’t married.

-If I ever decided to change my name (not that I’m planning it), I would go with Lenore, a la Edgar Allan Poe.

-I talk to myself all of the time. Really, I have great conversations and I’m my own personal narrator. Add some theme song and I’d be golden.

-I cuss like a sailor when I let myself go. Even better if I’m angry about something or someone on my shit-list. I can also gossip with the best of them, but always say just a little too much. Good friends know to always ignore the last thing I said.

-“One time. . .” I love to talk about myself. I will tell you story after story if you will listen. I’m sorry; did you have something you wanted to share? Maybe next time.

-If I could have any business in the world, I would open a coffee shop, ‘90s Central Perk style. My couches and pillows would never be stained and my customers would be extremely loyal. Naturally, my coffee would be the best in town.

-I like to make my hair stick up in all different directions while I take a series of selfies. These never see the light of day, although I do usually send one to my husband.

-You have to watch me or I will cheat at board games. I am ruthless and have no shame.


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