Our daughter turns eleven today and we had a moustache birthday party last weekend. I can’t believe that it is true, so I’m going to contribute to my denial by sharing some of the weird things she said as I kid. I kept track of these for a short time when she was in preschool/kindergarten.
O: [singing down the hallway] Daddy has a wiener!
Dad: Where did you hear that?
O: From my friend who is the most popular girl in school.
O: [yelling] Come in here and turn me something on that isn’t the damn old news!
O: Did you watch the thing to see who won to be president?
Mom: We didn’t elect the president yet; that was just the debate.
O: Yeah, they argued. [gestures with hands to indicate back and forth] But they tied so now they have to do it again.
O: [astonished after watching a commercial] Rachel Ray is going on vacation and—-guess what!—-we can join her!
O: Everything I’m saying to you is a sentence.
O: [to her cousin] I’m gifted.
O: That means I’m smarter than you.
O: That television isn’t on.
O: Maybe it’s a clapper. [claps in an effort to turn on the television]
Mom: Do you know that I love your daddy?
Dad: Do you know that I love your mommy more than anything?
O: What about cake?
O: My finger tastes good because of the play-dough.