Is it December yet?

I love the holiday season. For me, holiday season = Christmas season. Forget Thanksgiving; I would put up my lights the day after Halloween if I could pull it off without being ridiculed. Yes, I am one of those people. Right now I am just counting down the days until I can put up my Christmas tree without facing the wrath of the Thanksgiving-lovers around me. My husband is a Thanksgiving-lover; I still love him though.

Our holiday wasn’t quite the best last year. Surgery was planned for November then postponed so many times that we ended up eating Thanksgiving at a local hotel (don’t get me wrong – it was delicious, just unplanned). I finally did have surgery at the beginning of December and was only just feeling alive by Christmas morning. I’m already planning ways to make this year count for two. The first step – a new tree. See, last year after a disappointing holiday, I bought a new Christmas tree on impulse [and significant discount] from Balsam Hill. It has been waiting in the garage since then. Balsam Hill practically promises a life-changing experience with the tree and I’m expecting nothing less. You guys. . . this tree came with white gloves for fluffing all of the limbs. Seriously.

My favorite holiday movie shouldn’t surprise you – National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. You see, I am Clark Griswold. When December rolls around I am uncharacteristically optimistic and enthusiastic. I plan and plan. I shove holiday-cheer down everyone’s throat. I might be one step away from a psychotic breakdown – you can never be too sure. Loving, caring. . a little bit crazy. Clark Griswold is my homeboy.

MR GRISWOLD

“Oh, the silent majesty of a winter’s morn… the clean, cool chill of the holiday air… an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer…”

I can’t wait. Bring it on.

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