Stephanie 101

Here are some very important things to know about me.

  • I love lists. Everything is better with a list. Deal with it.
  • My house is never “company ready.” I’m messy. My husband is messier. My daughter has a very different definition of “clean.” My son likes to rip up paper and leave the bits everywhere. My dog sheds. Really, we are fighting a losing battle.
  • I turn into “super-southern-Stephanie” when I’m on the phone (apparently). Oh, bless her heart. . .
  • I have a chronic case of wanderlust. Unfortunately, I am not in the position to satisfy this wanderlust so I spend a large amount of time reminding myself that I need to be fulfilled with my life as-is. I’m sure this is very annoying. It does make me a wonderful traveling companion though.
  • I have a shit-list. It takes a lot for someone to get put on it and even more to get back off. It is nearly a permanent position. Irrational grudge-holding is my super power.
  • I can trip on a long blade of grass. Sometimes my legs forget that they are grown-up. I will just be walking along and –BOOM –next thing you know my legs and arms are shooting out in different directions. This happened to me just this morning. I was walking on a perfectly fine sidewalk on my way to work. Next thing I know, I’m on the ground with my coffee spilling out in front of me. The aftermath: coffee stain, scraped shoes, scraped knees, wounded pride.
  • I often leave the house looking a mess. And I don’t mean the “oh, I didn’t fix my makeup before I left, you must be so embarrassed to be seen with me” kind of mess. I mean the “damn, I hope I don’t end up on People of Wal-Mart” kind of mess. I generally pull myself together – at least mostly—for work and Junior League though. Any other time is a toss-up.
  • I usually have very disturbing, distorted and sometimes horrifying stress dreams. Once I told my husband about a dream and his only reply was “you don’t tell anyone else about these, do you?” I got the point.
  • I cooked dinner for the first two years of our marriage. Then I abruptly stopped and my husband took over (he enjoys cooking). During the additional nine years of our marriage (so far!), I’ve probably cooked fewer meals combined than those first two years. Yes, I do have it good. At this point though, you don’t want to eat anything that I’ve cooked. I barely remember how to turn the oven on. One time I broke it on Christmas day and had to pull out the instruction booklet to figure out how to fix it while my husband panicked. Yes, I saved the day (if you ignore the fact I broke it to begin with).
  • In addition to cooking, I can’t sew, sing, use an exacto knife without great risk to my fingers, knit, or successfully grow plants.

Author

4 comments

  1. Scrapped is for like scrap metal, or we scrapped the plans we had, to toss out. Scraped would refer to your shoes and knees when you fell. Comes from scrape. Just an English teacher enjoying your blog.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: